


The Most Wonderful Time

by romanticalgirl



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 04:44:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 5-5-03</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Most Wonderful Time

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 5-5-03

Pacey stopped walking, not noticing the downpour as he watched Joey carefully sidestep a darkened stump. Her green hat was pulled down tight on her head and the matching scarf nearly hid the rest of her face. Except her eyes, which were practically sparkling with delight when she turned toward him, waving him over in her direction.

"Whose idea was it to hunt for a Christmas tree in the pouring rain?" 

He patted the top of her head with a gloved hand. "That'd be you, Jo." He smiled and fell in step with her, heading down the hill. "So just suck it up, honey." 

"Just as long as I can take a hot shower once we're back at your place, I'm fine." 

"I suppose you're going to want hot chocolate too, huh?" 

"Coffee, chocolate, cider." Joey nodded even though he'd moved in front of her. "Food's good too." 

"Jesus, woman. We're not a couple anymore. These demands you're placing on me are verging seriously toward date territory." 

"You're just saying that because you hope I'll put out." When Pacey nodded, she smacked his shoulder, sending a shower of raindrops flying. "It's either you let me shower or you haul me to the hospital so I can get treatment for my hypothermia. Your choice." 

"I'd suppose you'd expect visits and presents if you were hospitalized." 

"At the very least. Expensive ones too. Not to mention the requisite sympathy. And flowers." 

"Okay, okay. I surrender. My shower is yours." He pointed the saw at a tree about ten yards in front of them. "How about that one?" 

"Pacey, it's twelve feet tall. I don't know if you remember your apartment very well, but you're lucky you can walk upright in it." 

"You just think I'm lucky I can walk upright." He winked at her and held the saw at chest height. "What do you think? Is it perfect? Can you and all your girlie friends come and decorate it for me?" 

"You think we're doing all the decorating?" 

"I'm cooking." 

"We'll be there." She smiled and pushed her hat back off her face before pulling her scarf down. "What are you making?" 

He stared at her lips, full and rosy with the slightest hint of lip gloss catching the little bit of light that filtered through the angry clouds. "What would you like?" 

Joey felt her skin flush, his gaze making her forget the cold day as her tongue darted out, moistening her lips. "Italian's good. Orwhatever." 

Pacey swallowed and shook his head, turning his attention back to the tree. "I've got something that'll knock your socks off." He closed one eye and tilted his head, staring at the trunk before moving closer to the tree. "Here?" 

Joey forced her eyes up from his jeans and blinked rapidly, trying to focus on the tree. "That looks good." 

"Yeah?" He looked over his shoulder at her, smiling happily. "I think so too." He lifted his saw. "Make sure you get out of the way when I say timber, okay?" 

"Trust me, considering the amount of embarrassment it's bound to cause me? The second you open your mouth, I'm going to be about as far away from you as I can get." 

***

"So," Audrey knelt on the cedar chest in front of the window, "what do you think?" 

"About?" Jen looked up from her magazine then, at Audrey's annoyed look, grinned sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I was listening. At least at the beginning I was. But then there was this article about the life of an unpublished writer, which struck me as ironic, so I got involved in that and somehow - surprisingly I do admit - lost interest in your plotting to try and get back together with Pacey." 

"I wasn't talking about that," Audrey huffed. 

"Yeah?" 

"Well, not the entire time. Part of the time I was talking about sex with Pacey. And then I was asking you if you thought the new guy I'm seeing is worth the trouble, which when you didn't respond in the affirmative, I decided he wasn't and therefore resolved to break it off" 

"Which led us right back to your plans to try and get back together with Pacey. Look," Jen set the magazine aside and took a deep breath, "I know you like him, Audrey, and I know that you really like having sex with him, since it's pretty much all Joey and I ever hear about, not that that isn't disturbing on many levels, and I know you want it to be more, but I really think that it's a bad idea." 

"Why?" 

"Things ended badly. Every time. All six of them. You guys became the new Dawson and Joey only with more sex and lesswell, less Dawson. Which is a good thing, but not good enough. You and Pacey don't have drama, so one of you - usually you - invariably creates drama, which ruins everything and then you're miserable forever and then you hate yourself and you either buy too much booze or gorge yourself and then hate yourself and think you're too fat and try and go on stupid diets that we warn you about and I don't think Joey and I can take the stress of it again." 

Audrey moved over to the couch and sat next to Jen, patting her on the knee. "Oh, Bunny, why didn't you just tell me you were in love with me?" 

"I do love you, Audrey." Jen stood up and kissed the top of Audrey's head. "But I'd move to Siberia and spend the rest of my days carving woodchucks out of soap before I'd get involved with you." 

"Which means you've given it some thought." Audrey sighed happily and leaned back against the couch. "I knew I was irresistible." 

"Just not to Pacey, okay?" Jen implored her. "Please?" 

"No promises." Audrey gave her a half smile. "But I'll try and be good." 

"That's what I'm worried about." 

***

Joey bounced on the balls of her feet as Pacey tossed the rope over the top of the net-encased tree. She slipped it though the luggage rack then tossed it back to him. He tugged on it, pulling it tight. "Okay, Potter. Get your ass in the car and let's go home." 

"There's free hot chocolate." 

He came around the car and leaned against it, his arms crossed over his chest, ignoring the dirt and pitch on his coat. "Does that mean I get out of making it for you?" She nodded, unable to keep from smiling. "Well, hot damn, Potter. What are we waiting for?" 

He reached out and took her hand, walking slowly until she fell in step with him as they headed to the large barn across the parking area from his car. They stepped into the building, both of them sighing in relief as the warmth from the space heaters reached them, curling steam from their sodden clothes. 

"Wait here." 

He released her and headed into the throng of people surrounding various craft tables until he reached the one laden with steaming cups. Grabbing two, he turned back toward her, walking slowly, the cups held at head-height. Joey bit her lower lip as her chest tightened, his small grin causing a different kind of heat. 

"Here ya go, Potter. This should warm you right up." He handed her the cup, lifting his to his mouth to take a sip. Joey took it from him, holding it with both hands to warm her fingers through her gloves. He waited, an eyebrow raised, until she took a drink from it, the steam shrouding her face, tangling in her hair, almost black from the rain. "How's that feel?" 

"Good," she nodded, swallowing hard, barely tasting the drink as Pacey watched her. "Very good." 

"It's free," he reminded her, "so there's more where that came from." He took another drink then held the cup between his teeth, taking off his gloves and slipping them in the pocket of his coat. Capturing the cup again, he rolled it between his hands, making quiet noises of pleasure as the heat penetrated his skin. 

Joey stared at his hands, the small cup seeming non-existent between them. The soft sounds he made sent shivers through her skin, her body shaking slightly, raindrops falling from the smooth gray surface of her coat. 

"You cold?" He moved over to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. He started to pull her closer then stopped, removing his arm as he moved away. Joey fought the frown that started to form, reminding herself that she had no right to be disappointed when he reached down with his right hand and unbuttoned his coat, pulling the fabric apart so she could slide next to his body. 

Joey set her empty cup down on the ground beside her then took her coat off, shivering in the chilled air. Setting it over the back of a chair to dry, she moved into Pacey's offered embrace, wrapping her arms around him. He brought his arm around her, cradling her against him. 

"Better?" 

She looked up at the slightly strangled sound of his voice, nodding as she held his eyes. "Much." 

"Good." 

They stared at each other for a long moment, Pacey's Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. Joey's tongue darted out, wetting her lips as her eyes dropped from his, focusing on his mouth. Without thinking, she raised her hand, running it over his chest then lifting it up, brushing his lower lip with her fingertips. "You have" she paused, swallowing, "chocolate. Right" she touched the corner of his mouth, shuddering as his tongue swept out, tasting the tips of her fingers as he sought out the chocolate. 

"There?" He asked. "Did I get it?" 

"Yeah. You did." She nodded quickly, stepping back. "I think my coat's dry and I'm warm now. Warm enough. Hot, even. So, maybe we should go. Because Jen and Audrey are waiting for us." 

"Sure." He tossed his cup into one of the nearby garbage cans and rebuttoned his coat, not looking at her as he pulled it close around him. "You want one for the road?" 

***

"Okay," Audrey sighed as she pulled the last box down from the top of the closet and handed it down to Jen. "I'll give up. The sex is great, but it's not that great." She glared down at Jen as she laughed. "Okay, it is that great." 

"Yeah, it is." 

"You're not helping," Audrey reminded her. 

"Right. Sorry. Sex is bad." 

"He's not worth the hassle and the self-destruction." She nodded and started down the small step stool. "So I'm totally over him and have no more desire to sleep with him and certainly no urge to have a relationship with him." 

"Excellent." 

"It's a pity he's gone off his casual sex phase." Audrey sighed and lifted one of the several boxes scattered around, carrying it over to the living room. "I mean, if he'd just give in to the urges, we could just have ourselves a good time." 

"Once you've had a relationship with him, Pacey can't just be about the sex." Jen blushed as Audrey looked at her. "Not that I know from personal experience. We never did the relationship thing, but I know from observing." 

"See? You were smart." She set the box down and headed back for another as Jen followed. "Just nail him repeatedly, stop when you're bored and know that you can always come back for more." 

"Yeah. Nothing says happiness like casual sex." Jen smirked. "But, regardless of that, I think you're making the right decision." 

"Good." Audrey nodded happily as she walked to the kitchen and grabbed two beers out of the fridge, handing one to Jen as she opened her own, leaning back on the counter. She smiled as the door opened, the soft curve of her lips hardening as Joey walked in, the flush of her skin obviously not just from the cold air. 

"Now, this is the life." Pacey grinned at Audrey and Jen as he followed Joey in, carefully guiding the tree behind him. "Work hard all day" 

"Destroying our national forests," Jen interjected. 

"And come home to two beautiful women." 

"And what about Joey?" Audrey asked, her voice tense. 

"Eh," Pacey shrugged with a smile, casting a warm glance the brunette's way. "I had my way with her in the car." 

"Oh really?" Joey smirked, not quite looking at him. "I didn't realize your way consisted of getting your roaming hands slapped for two miles." 

Pacey headed for the kitchen where Audrey was leaning against the counter, her hand wrapped around the beer bottle, stroking the smooth, sweating glass. He nodded toward the bottle as he walked past her. "You two been dating long?" 

"Why? You jealous?" 

"You tell me. Does Sam Adams go down on you?" 

She shook her head, matching his impish grin. "Only if I'm drunk enough to spill." 

"And does the current boyfriend know about your illicit affair?" He grabbed two beers out of the fridge, holding one up as an offering to Joey. She nodded and he tossed it to her. That done, he leaned forward and gave Audrey a slow smile. "Is he the jealous type?" 

"Are you asking because you're concerned for the safety of your beer stash or do you have some sort of personal stake in the answer?" 

"Hey, Audrey?" 

Audrey forced her gaze away from Pacey's, catching Jen's pointed look. Her lower lip slid out into a delicate pout. "Yeah?" 

"Get me another beer, would you?" 

She nodded, sighing softly as she pulled away from Pacey and walked to the fridge. Pacey patted her gently on the ass as she walked past, chuckling at her soft shriek before heading back into the living room. "Okay, Potter. Where's the tree stand?" 

"Set up." She nodded toward the dark metal stand. "We'll need water then you're good to go." 

Pacey nodded, grabbing the tree and dragging it over to the far corner of the room. They'd laid plastic sheeting down before they'd left and the tree slid easily over the smooth surface. "Okay, lovely ladies, I'm going to need a little help getting it up." 

"That's a first," Jen called out. 

"Aw, you've always helped me, Jen. You just didn't have to do it in such a hands on kind of way." He winked at her as he pointed her in the direction of the opposite side of the tree. Audrey stood near him while Joey moved to the tip. "If it makes you feel any better, just the close proximity of you three gorgeous creatures is doing a lot for any lifting I have to do with additional appendages." 

"Just like a man to make something with such nice potential sound so disgusting." Audrey rolled her eyes. 

"What would you rather I said, Audrey?" Pacey nodded and they all lifted, sliding the tree trunk into the base and guiding it upwards. As soon as the tip passed out of her reach, Joey moved around Audrey and Pacey to the stump, tightening the screws that drove into the wood. "That you've all got me harder than the tree trunk here?" 

"Pure poetry, Witter." Joey assured him. "I know that, speaking of course just for myself, I'm all hot and bothered with that image." 

He bent down, helping to tighten the screws, his voice dropping. "And here I thought that was just from the hot chocolate." 

She flushed, moving back from him to grab the pitcher of water she'd brought from the kitchen. Audrey moved away from the tree, her eyes narrowing, not seeing Jen's worried look. "We've got some more boxes to bring in from the hallway." Jen grabbed Audrey's arm and tugged on it. "We'll be right back." 

"I can help," Joey offered. 

"No!" Jen assured her as Audrey growled a low "Yes." 

"No," Jen shook her head. "We've got it." 

Pacey watched them leave the room, his eyebrow raised curiously. "They're very strange girls, aren't they?" 

"You seem to attract them." 

"What does that say about you, Potter?" 

"That, obviously, too many years of living near you wore through any common sense and defenses I had so I was completely susceptible to your charm. Or lack thereof." 

"Wow. You're so good for my ego. Why'd we break up again?" 

***

"Okay," Audrey shook off Jen's hand. "Not that I don't get off on it, but what's with the domination act?" 

"I don't know," Jen smirked. "Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you're about to blow a gasket because Pacey's flirting with Joey." 

"He's not flirting with her," Audrey sneered. "He's practically in her pants already." 

"So? He's not your boyfriend." 

"He's a hell of a lot closer to being mine than he is hers." 

"No, he's not." Jen sighed heavily, blowing out her frustration. "Audrey, honey, you're dating someone else. And regardless of any feelings that you may have for Pacey - which I will say for the record do not extend beyond friendship, no matter how much you want to believe otherwise - what he does or wants to do with Joey is completely none of your business and not in violation of any kind of vow, promise or sexually explicit offer he's made to you." 

"This isn't Law and Order." 

"No, but given your murderous look, it's about to be." Jen ran her hand through her blonde hair. "Look, I get that Pacey's good at inspiring jealousy. Every girl who's ever dated him gets this weird protective/ownership vibe. But you don't own him, and he's a big boyin more ways than oneand he can take care of himself." 

Audrey huffed out a small breath. "I just" 

"Audrey. You promised me less than a half hour ago that you'd given up on him. You knew you weren't right for each other and it was over. No more plays at getting back together, no more attempts at becoming a soap opera super-couple, and no more self-destructive behavior resulting from said attempts." Jen rubbed Audrey's arm lightly. "You guys aren't in love, Audrey. And, despite whatever hormones might be jumpin' right now, you're not in lust either." 

"We have really good sex." 

"You also have really bad break-ups." 

"God." Audrey crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Jen. "Why do you have to be the voice of reason here? You want him for yourself, don't you?" 

"Oh yes." Jen shook her head. "I really want to sacrifice my two year relationship with a very nice, very attractive and very sexy man just so I can get laid by Pacey and be part of the gang." 

"Hmmm. Well, when you put it that way" 

Jen laughed and grabbed one of the boxes on the floor. "Come on, Audrey. You've got a nice thing going with Scott and there's no reason to fuck that up. You've been there and done that when it comes to Pacey. Why go back to visit the same old sights when there's a whole new world out there?" 

"There is very little chance Scott has slept with most of my friends." 

"One would hope." Jen waited as Audrey picked up a box. "Come on. Put the little green-eyed monster away and remember that Joey hasn't been laid in forever, so she probably needs him more than either of us do." 

"Hmm." Audrey nodded. "Okay." 

"Problems back here, ladies?" Pacey walked down the short hallway to where they were standing. He grabbed one of the boxes off the floor and stacked it on another, lifting them both up. "Or were you just waiting back here, hoping I'd show up and do all the dirty work." 

"The best dirty work would require both of us," Audrey lifted one eyebrow. "Don't you agree?" 

"At least." He chuckled. "But something tells me that certain significant others would frown on me using the two of you for my own perverse pleasure." 

Audrey moved closer, her body brushing his as she walked toward the living room. "Only if they found out." 

Pacey's eyebrow rose as he followed her, casting a quick, curious glance back at Jen who shrugged and sighed, shifting the box in her hand as she walked toward the living room. 

***

Pacey set the plate of stuffed mushrooms on the coffee table and sank back into the lone uncovered chair, watching as the three girls moved around the tree, stringing lights and tinsel. He smiled at the sight, all of them laughing, draped with strings of silver tinsel, glinting in the multicolored lights. 

"What are you smiling about?" Jen asked as she moved toward the couch, grabbing another bag of tinsel. 

Pacey grinned and shook his head, leaning forward and grabbing her arm, pulling her back onto his lap. "Tell Santa what you want for Christmas." 

"You don't look like Santa." 

"I don't?" 

"Nope." She shook her head, tugging at his bare chin. "First of all, Santa has a snowy white beard." 

"Damn it. I knew I shouldn't have shaved." 

"He's also got a bowl full of jelly." She patted his flat stomach. 

"Mrs. Claus got me a gym membership last year." 

"Rosy cheeks." She ran a finger over his cheekbones. "Which, okay, I do have to give you that one." She laughed as he smiled. "But I'm pretty sure Santa never got a boner while a pretty little girl sat in his lap." 

"You want some candy?" He chuckled low, leaning in toward the smooth white column of her neck. "I'm sure I've got a candy cane you can suck on." 

"I've got all the candy I can handle right now, Santa." She kissed his cheek. "But thanks for the offer." 

"Damn." He helped her to her feet and patted her on the ass. "You never did tell me what you wanted for Christmas." 

Leaning down, she draped a handful of tinsel over his head, letting it fall through the dark strands of his hair. "Not you." 

"That's it," he sighed sadly. "You're going on the naughty list." 

Jen laughed and headed back for the tree. "Rest assured, Pacey, _that's_ not what got me on the naughty list." 

Grinning, he got to his feet and headed back toward the kitchen. "Eat the mushrooms before they get cold." 

"Mmm." Audrey drifted away from the tree, piling some of the stuff mushrooms onto one of the small plates beside the serving platter. "What's the next course?" 

"It's all just finger foods." He smiled at her as she straddled the stool across from him, leaning her elbows on the counter. Reaching down she picked up one of the mushrooms and lifted it, popping it slowly into her mouth. "Peppered chicken, fried zucchini, that sort of thing." He watched her suck the juices from her fingers one at a time, her eyes on his. "Nothing too fancy." 

"Did Jen tell you what she wanted for Christmas?" 

"She was elusive and evasive. I think she's testing to see if I really am Santa and can read her mind." 

"Or the letter she sent," Jen called from the living room. 

"Or that." He chuckled, shrugging as he washed his hands in the sink. "What about you, Audrey? What do you want for Christmas?" 

"You'd blush if I told you." 

"Yeah?" He cocked an eyebrow. "You think you could make me blush?" 

Audrey glanced over her shoulder at the tree where Jen and Joey were discussing the placement of the last string of lights. Biting her lower lip, she slid off the chair and slipped around the counter, walking up behind Pacey and resting her hands on his hips. "I want someone to tie me down to a bed and make me scream with pleasure." Her voice was a husky whisper, deep and throaty. "Like you did the last time." 

"You should talk to your current beau about that one, Audrey." He closed his eyes as her hands slipped down, smoothing over his hips to the fly of his jeans, her hand unerring as it found his cock, hardening under the soft movement of her breasts against his back. "I don't date involved women." 

"I don't want to date you, Pacey." Her voice purred in his ear, her hand easing his zipper down. Her fingers slipped past the denim and found his boxers, stroking the hard flesh through the silky material. "I just want you to fuck me." 

The oven timer went off and Pacey pulled away from Audrey, not looking at her as he slipped on an oven mitt and opened the door. He pulled out a long silver tray and set it on the stove, staring down at the pale yellow quiches. "I don't want to fuck you, Audrey." 

"You've always wanted to before." 

"I've always been involved with you before." He cleared his throat. "Don't get me wrong here. You and I werespecial. Every time. But I don't think that we need to be involved again. And certainly not while you're dating someone else. And as for this," he gestured to his erection, never losing his hold on her gaze, "trust me that it's something that I can't quite control. But don't take it as a sign of encouragement." 

"What if I broke it off with him?" 

Pacey bowed his head, taking a deep breath before reaching down to zip his jeans. "I think you'd be miserable within two weeks. And I think I'd be miserable long before that." He moved closer to her, running his hand over her cheek. "You're addictive, Miss Liddell. And I have a hard time resisting you because when we're good, we're so good. But we go bad so fast." He kissed her softly, his lips brushing hers. "So stay with your boyfriend and we'll just flirt madly, okay?" 

"Is it because you want to fuck Joey again?" 

"I don't want to fuck Joey again," he assured her. "I promise." 

Her lower lips slid out in frustrated disbelief. "That's not how you're acting." 

"I'm pretty sure I'm acting like I have three beautiful women, all of whom I love, running around my apartment like I'm some low-rent Hugh Hefner. And I'm pretty sure I'm acting like that because it's very close to the truth and if I could just convince you girls to strip down to your underwear, I'd be in heaven." 

"You're a pig." 

He grinned, glad at the lightened air around them. "You say the sexiest things." 

***

"Okay." Joey sank down onto the floor in front of the couch. "I could not be sicker of all things light and tinsel related. I'd go so far as to say that should I hear the word 'translucent' again within the next 48 hours, I'm likely to become homicidal." 

"Canapé?" Pacey held out the tray to her. "Fully opaque." 

"Thanks." She leaned forward and grabbed a plate, scooping several of the little treats off Pacey's tray. "I think all Christmas activities should be catered by Pacey in the future." 

"Why's that?" Jen asked as she sank down opposite Joey, stretching out her legs. 

"Well, as long as his hands are full, they're not residing on the ass of some random girl that we're all going to have to pitch in and save him from." 

"Name one!" he stated indignantly. 

"Marissa." 

"Bethany." 

"Janelle." 

"Justine." 

"Katrina." 

"Okay, that's enough." He glared at them all, sinking back into the chair again. "They weren't all random. Most of them were very deliberate on my part." 

"Showing that once you got past dating us, your judgment went all to hell." Audrey smirked, leaning forward to steal one of the beers from the table. "But I suppose that we're hard acts to follow." 

"Except with each other," Jen laughed. She set her plate down on the table and got to her feet. "Okay. Break time's over, girls. We've got to get this thing done so that I can go home and actually have a good time for some portion of today." 

"You had a good time on my lap," Pacey reminded her. 

"No, you had a good time with me on your lap." Jen leaned over and kissed the top of his head. "Now start unpacking the ornaments." 

"I have to do the dishes." 

"Well then? Get your ass moving on those so you can unpack the ornaments." 

Pacey shook his head, getting to his feet and gathering all the dishes up. Joey cast a quick glance at both Audrey and Jen then followed him, carrying the serving tray. She watched as he slipped the dishes into a sink filled with soapy water before handing him the tray. He took a deep breath, slightly startled, then slid it into the water as well. "You're not on ornament duty?" 

"I am. I just thought I'd save you an extra trip. Besides, the beer garden out there is getting a little low. Time for replanting." 

"There's another six-pack or two in the fridge." He turned his attention to the dishes as she leaned back against the counter next to him, grasping it and pulling herself up. Her heels tapped against the smooth maple cabinet doors. "So, are you going home to Capeside for Christmas?" 

"Nah. Bessie and Bodie are closing down the B&B for the holidays since it's such a slow time for them and heading to the Bahamas for a week." 

"Wow." 

"Yeah. And they're taking Alexander with them, so there's nothing for me to do down there unless I want to spend a week entirely by myself." 

"I'm sure you could hit up the Leery's for some company." 

"Nope. Gale and her new boyfriend are taking Lily out skiing." She shrugged. "So I think I'm roughing it here." 

"I was thinking about having a party on Christmas Eve for those poor wretches like us who don't have anywhere else to go." Pacey shrugged, slowly washing the plate in his hand. "You're welcome to come." 

"Yeah?" 

He smiled and nodded. "Sure, Potter. It wouldn't be Christmas without you." 

"Thanks." She slipped off the counter, stumbling slightly. He reached out, his soapy hand closing around her arm. They both stared down at his fingers then back up at each other. "I'd better take the beer out there and help out before the natives get restless." 

"Yeah." He released her, watching her as she opened the refrigerator and bent down, grabbing the two six-packs from the bottom shelf. "Hey, Jo?" 

"Yes?" She turned, smiling warmly. 

"What do you want for Christmas?" 

"I'm not sure. Can I get back to you?" 

***

"All right." Jen wiped her hands on the bottom of her pants, grimacing as soon as she was done. "Remind me not to do that again." 

"Don't do that again," Audrey called out from underneath the tree where she was tying off the tree skirt. "Unless it involves very sexy things that I want to see, in which case you have to do it at least one more time." 

"It wasn't sexy," Joey assured her. "Well, it was, but the dust and sap and other gook sort of took away from the sexiness quotient." 

"Damn." Audrey slithered out from under the tree and stood up, pine needles sprinkled in her hair. "I miss all the good stuff." 

"No," Jen shook her head. "Because as of right now, we're done and that means we can go out and do something fun. Or better yet, go out and do someone fun. Or someones. Since I'm not about to share." 

"Your mother never taught you that sharing is nice?" Audrey draped her arm over Jen's shoulder. 

"No. My mother taught me about pearls and how to marry a man and make your life miserable, but sharing was never in the lesson plans. Except, perhaps, sharing your man to help make your life miserable. Either way, it was a lesson that's not going to help you in getting into anyone's pants other than those of your boyfriend. Or anyone who isn't my boyfriend." 

"You're so stingy. Santa's definitely giving you coal in your stockings." 

"Santa should see the stockings I'm going to be wearing." Jen winked, laughing along with Joey and Audrey. "So, we're going to go." She looked toward the kitchen then back to Joey. "You comin', Jo?" 

Joey looked up from her spot in front of the fire, hoping that the heat of the blaze would dispel any rumors of her sudden blush. "Not yet. I think I'm going to hang out here for a while." 

"It's almost midnight," Jen reminded her quietly, casting a glance back toward Pacey. "You stay here much longer, you're likely to end up staying here." 

Joey nodded, "I know." 

Jen blew out a long breath and shook her head, glancing over her shoulder at Audrey who had a distinctly annoyed look on her face. "You're not winning friends and influencing people." 

There was a brief silence before Joey nodded again. "I know." 

"Okay." Jen blew out a breath and turned toward the door, grabbing her coat from the arm of the loveseat. She looked at Audrey, her gaze holding the other girl's. "Let's go." 

"Joey's not coming?" 

The artic tone of Audrey's voice carried over to Joey and she shivered, despite the heat of the fire. Jen sighed and shook her head. "Come on, we'll go to Grams's and we'll have hot chocolate." 

"I'd rather go out and have booze." 

"We can do that too." Jen raised her voice to carry into the next room. "Night, Pace! Thanks for everything!" 

"Night, Lindley. Excellent job with the lights!" 

Audrey's frown quirked up into a quick grin before settling back. She looked at Joey briefly and contemplated walking into the kitchen, deciding it wasn't worth the effort when she saw the look in her roommate's eyes. "Night, Pace." 

He walked out of the kitchen, sipping his beer. "Night, Audrey. Are you still going to come by tomorrow and wrap all my presents for me?" 

"Given that you didn't promise that I could unwrap a few things as well?" She shrugged, her smile lifting the corners of her mouth. "No." 

"Damn." Both blondes waved and slipped out the door. Pacey paused, his brow wrinkling before he turned toward the fire. "I didn't realize you were so forgettable, Potter." 

Her eyes moved over him, starting at his bare feet and running up his legs, clad in tight jeans, pausing briefly at his crotch, smiling slightly as she saw the material shift under her gaze. His black sweater couldn't hide the muscles he'd been honing while working on his new boat, his tanned skin standing out in high relief. His lips were wet as he pulled his beer bottle away, his tongue catching the taste from them. When she reached his eyes, they were a dark, unreadable blue. "You haven't put the angel on the tree." She shrugged and stood up. "I thought you might need help." 

He watched her get to her feet. Her jeans had dried and were clinging to her skin. Her face was flushed and she tugged at the hem of her sweater. "I was thinking I'd forego the angel. I think my wanton behavior might embarrass the poor girl." 

"You've got a star." She walked over to the nearly empty box of ornaments they'd dug out of his storage room and pulled out a mangled star, the golden glitter all but gone, leaving it a strange malevolent green. "Or possibly a dead animal. It's hard to tell." 

Pacey took it from her, offering her his beer in exchange. "You sure you want to put this on my tree?" 

Joey licked the rim of the bottle before taking a drink, running her tongue back over the rim when she was done. Pacey watched her, swallowing hard as she nodded. "It needs a crowning touch." 

He shrugged and walked over to the kitchen, grabbing the stepstool. "You've got strange taste in décor, Jo." 

She took the stool from his hands and set it up, holding her hand out. "Give me a little support?" 

He grasped her hand, holding on to it as she climbed the two short steps, leaning precariously over the tree. She released him and grabbed the top branch, pulling it toward her. She placed the star carefully on it and eased it back until it was straightened. Grinning, she turned toward him, gasping as her foot slipped off the edge and she started falling. 

"Shit!" Pacey moved quickly, catching her as she fell, her head hitting the tree and sending a shower of tinsel to the ground. His heart pounding, he looked down at her. "You okay?" 

She nodded, breathless. "Yeah. Think so." 

"Jesus, Potter. You scared the shit out of me." He set her down carefully, her body sliding down the length of his. "You sure you're okay?" 

She winced as she set her foot on the ground. "I think I twisted my ankle." 

"Right. Upsy-daisy." He lifted her again, cradling her against his chest. He glanced over at the couch, covered with boxes they'd pulled, thinking they might be Christmas related from the vague descriptions on them. "Plan B." 

"There was a plan A?" 

He shifted her in his arms and stuck his tongue out at her. "Well, not really, as I usually don't cause bodily harm to my guests." He moved over to where she'd been sitting by the fire, one of the few places clean of clutter and knelt down, easing her to the floor. "Unless they ask really nicely." 

"You're such a gentleman. Ow." She winced as he moved to her feet, turning her right foot slowly. 

"I don't think it's sprained. Just twisted, like you said. It's swelling a little though." He untied her hiking shoe then gently guided it off her foot. Her sock followed and he rubbed his thumb lightly over her ankle. "Does that hurt?" 

Joey fought to breathe normally as shockwaves traveled along her nervous system. She shook her head, her voice trembling. "No." 

He looked up from her skin, his eyes meeting hers. The fire snapped beside them and Pacey shook his head. "No?" 

With infinite care, Joey spread her legs slightly, allowing enough room for him to move between them. "No. It doesn't hurt at all." 

Pacey exhaled slowly, his hands resting on her legs, his thumbs still moving in small circles. "Potter" 

She leaned forward, her lips a breath away from his. "Kiss me?" 

He shook his head. "No." 

Her expression darkened for a moment then she smiled, tilting her head slightly. "Can I kiss you?" 

He licked his lips in invitation, nodding slightly. "Yeah. You can kiss me." 

Joey's hand trembled as she lifted it, brushing her fingertips against his lips. Pacey's eyes drifted closed, but he held himself still, refusing to move or respond until she moved her hand, curving it around the back of his neck and pulling his face down to hers. 

Her lips were warm on his, slightly damp from where her tongue had traced over them nervously. They stilled, lips together, barely touching, for a moment until her tongue slipped out again, chasing his breath past his parted lips. 

Pacey's soft groan filled the air between them as Joey tasted him, her fingers pressing against the back of his neck, urging him closer. He moved toward her, one hand sliding behind her back as he eased them both down to the floor. 

Joey pulled back, her teeth capturing his lower lip, refusing to let him go as he shifted his weight above her, staring down into her eyes. She met his gaze, holding it until he seemed about to speak, then moving in, her mouth trapping the unspoken words. 

A shudder ran through Pacey's body as she moved against him, her hips rolling, pressing upward. He shifted, easing his body on top of hers, pressing against her softly, firmly. 

Joey broke the kiss on a quiet gasp, swallowing pine and Pacey-scented air as his body moved, stroking gently against hers. His blue eyes were dark as he watched her react, feeling her move instinctively, matching his rhythm. 

He kissed her softly then pulled away, slipping his hand between them. He guided each button free, pushing fabric away from her heated skin. She held his gaze with her own until he bent his head, his body sliding along hers just enough to allow him to taste the skin he was slowly exposing. 

Joey shivered as the fire snapped beside her, as Pacey's hand pushed the bra strap over her shoulder, tugging the thin lace out of his way. 

Her hips rolled upward, seeking heat and hardness as he ignored her, his trailing kisses fading as one hand curved under her breast, holding it as he closed his mouth around the peaked tip. His tongue curled around the hard flesh, bringing a soft moan to Joey's lips. 

Her fingers threaded through his hair, holding his head, pulling it away from her aching flesh. "Wait." 

"Joey, it's been so long," he whispered against her skin. "I don't want to wait." 

"Please, Pacey." She moved away from him, shivering as he released her. He leaned back against the couch, shifting uncomfortably in his jeans, rubbing a hand over his mouth. She listened to him inhale, waited as he held his breath for a long moment. Finally she moved closer to him, watching him watch her as she straddled his legs, kneeling in front of him. "I don't want to wait either." 

"But?" His voice was hoarse, thick with a hunger that matched his burning eyes. 

"But nothing." She grabbed his sweater and tugged it over his head. Pacey lifted his arms, allowing her to pull it off of him, careful not to touch her as he lowered them to the ground. Joey tossed his sweater onto the couch behind him then ran the tip of her finger along the neck of his wife-beater, feeling the rough catch of the light dusting of dark hair that stained his skin. "I just want to have some fun first." 

Pacey's eyes narrowed as he watched her touch him, his breath catching in his throat as she tugged the shirt free of his jeans, running her warm hand along the tight muscles of his stomach, feeling them clench beneath her touch. "Fun, huh?" 

Her tongue wet her lips as she stripped the shirt off of him, tossing the thin cotton away. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his breathing harsh and hungry as she scraped her fingernail over the hard tip of his nipple. "Aren't you having fun?" 

"I'm in what has to be some of the most excruciating pain of my life," he chuckled roughly. "Yeah, I'm havin' fun." 

"Does it ache?" She asked softly, coyly, as she trailed her finger down to the waistband of his jeans. 

"Yeah," he managed a tight smile, his voice strained. "It aches, Potter." 

"Would it help if I took these jeans off of you?" 

"Might." 

She nodded and moved off his legs, kneeling beside him as she easily unhooked his belt then undid his fly. Pacey arched off the floor, watching Joey with hooded eyes as she eased his jeans and boxers down his legs, slipping them over his bare feet. Her eyes were glued to his cock, her tongue moving over her lips again as she stared at it, watching the thick pulse beating through the swollen flesh. Her voice cracked. "Better?" 

"Gettin' there." He was barely breathing, soft gasps of anticipation filling the air around them as Joey reached out, her fingers barely brushing the sensitive tip. "Jo" 

"Shh," she shook her head and moved her hand to his thigh, stroking the tanned skin as she bent her head, wrapping her warm mouth around the length of his cock. 

Pacey groaned, the sound reverberating through his body as Joey ran her tongue over his heated skin, tasting him as her hair fell over his thighs, sending shivers along his spine. He grabbed the base of the couch, digging his fingers into the soft wood as his hips arched upward, matching her slow, steady thrusts. 

He could feel tension gathering at the base of his spine, building there as Joey's mouth moved over him, her hands touching him, her hair brushing his skin until he was overloaded on sensation. He reached out to touch her hair, stroking the silky softness, her name falling in soft whispers from his lips. 

Joey pulled back, her eyes wide, her hand pressed against her mouth. Pacey got a glimpse of swollen lips and wild hunger before she backed away, grabbing at her shirt as she did so. "I have to go." 

"What?" He bit the word out, unable to muster up anything resembling tact. "What the fuck do you mean?" 

"II" Tears brimmed, dammed by her eyelashes, as she scrambled to her feet. "I just have to go, Pacey. I'm sorry." 

He watched, dumbfounded, as she rushed toward the door, pulling her coat on over her body, limping slightly on her bare, swollen foot as she opened it, slamming it shut behind her. 

***

Audrey lifted an eyebrow as the front door swung open. Pacey smirked as she surveyed the room. "What?" 

"Wow." She shrugged off her jacket, handing it to him as she brushed past him and sank down on the sofa. "The place is spotless. Guess Joey didn't put out last night." 

"What makes you say that?" 

"A clean apartment reeks of frustrated sexual energy. So, what happened? She give you her patented Joey Potter, too good to have sex without love excuse?" 

"No." Pacey walked into the kitchen. "You want coffee?" 

"Sure." Audrey pulled her boots off and tucked her feet under her on the couch. "But don't think you're avoiding the question." 

"The real question stems more from your intense desire to sabotage your current relationship by hooking up with me." He smiled as he handed her a coffee mug. "Again." 

"You don't have to worry about that," Audrey waved the suggestion away as she inhaled the warm aroma steaming from her cup. "Jen talked sense into me. She reminded me that wanting you because you want Joey is self-destructive and painful." 

He sank into the chair opposite her, taking a sip of his own coffee. "What makes you think I want Joey?" 

Audrey laughed softly. "First of all, because you always want Joey. But this time because, after a host of lousy, fucked-up boyfriends, she's finally starting to realize that what she had with you was special." 

"You weren't even around when she had what she had with me," he reminded her. 

"True," Audrey admitted. "But I've had a fraction of what she had with you. Several times. And I know very well how special that was." She climbed off the couch and walked over to him, kissing him softly on the top of his head. "Now, show me where the presents are so I can get started." 

He stood up, following her as she headed down the short hallway. "First room on the left." 

"Ah-ha." 

"Yours are someplace safe. So don't even bother looking" He shook his head and waited until she walked into the room. Leaning against the doorjamb, he narrowed his eyes, obviously thinking. "I don't always want her." 

"Yeah, ya do." Audrey shrugged and picked up a box, making a face at it. "Some of the time it's just in a sort of first love, lost love kind of way that's touching and tragic and sort of just emanates from you and all the girls pick up on it. Those times, it's what gets you laid on a regular basis. Everyone wants to heal the boy with the broken heart." 

"I'm not that pathetic." 

"Other times," she went on, deliberately ignoring him, "It's like longing with a purpose. You can tell you're thinking about her and things you did and said and all that crap." 

"How can you tell?" 

Audrey smiled and grabbed a roll of paper from the box beside the small card table. "Because you get surly and defensive." 

"You want more coffee?" 

"And you constantly try to change or avoid the subject." She called out as he walked away, heading for the kitchen. 

"You hungry?" 

"And you try and ply your ex-girlfriends with food." She followed him into the kitchen and sat on one of the stools that ran along the counter. 

Pacey pulled himself up on the opposite counter and faced her. "I'd been in love twice before I started going out with Joey. Once was with Tamara, she was my one older woman." He chuckled softly. "Anyway, we were sort of an ill-fated romance, but I did love her." 

"She's the one who showed you how to do that thing, right?" 

"Yeah." 

Audrey sighed happily. "Yeah. I love her too." 

Pacey laughed and shook his head. "And Andie." 

"We've gone over this before, Pace." 

"Exactly." He took another long sip of his coffee. "Do you know how many times the same dramas have occurred in my life? Dawson and Joey, Dawson and Jen, Pacey and Audrey, Pacey and Jen, Pacey and Joey. It's like this big endless loop where we're in opposite circles and whenever we pass each other, we have to hook up until we're miserable or the music starts again." He sighed and tilted his head back, looking up at the ceiling. "I've spent too much of my life being miserable, Audrey." 

"Well, first of all, you might want to preface that little speech with some sort of 'don't take this personally' disclaimer. Secondly, what makes you think you're going to be miserable if you two try again?" 

"Because we've been miserable every other time." 

"And maybe you're just a little teensy bit afraid that you're turning to her because a certain redhead just dumped your ass faster than you could say" 

"I was there." 

Audrey shifted on the stool, leaning forward on her elbows. "I feel pretty secure in my belief that your feelings for Joey stem from long before you were ever involved with Joanna. But if you're unsure, I'm willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and sleep with you so that you can see if you feel guilty afterwards." 

"Something tells me that your current romantic interest wouldn't appreciate you taking those steps to test my conscience." Pacey blew out a long breath, resting his head back on the cabinet behind him. "I've never gotten over her." 

"Uhhello? How many times have I told you that? How many times have we proven that again and again just by virtue of the fact that you haven't fallen desperately and madly in love with me, despite how amazingly loveable I am?" 

"A very solid argument." 

"She's in your blood, Pace." Audrey shrugged. "And as much as it pains me to say this for fear that you might end up getting hurt and would then proceed to blame it all on me and then come to hate me, I think you should try again." 

"And be her rebound guy?" 

"That thing with Malcolm wasn't serious." 

"She was thinking about marrying him." 

Audrey shook her head, blowing out an exasperated breath. "And what the fuck do you think stopped her?" Rolling her eyes, she slipped off the stool and walked around the countertop. She stopped in front of him and rested her hands on his knees, looking up into his eyes. "Do you think maybe she actually sat down and thought about what she was doing for once and maybe started wondering if she was making the right choice or if maybe she was just substituting one guy for the guy she really wants and doesn't think she can have?" 

"Right." Pacey pushed her back slightly and slid off the counter. "You're trying to get me to believe that Joey's spent the past five years just pining over me?" 

"Why not? You've done it." 

"I didn't have Dawson to contend with and that whole drama to get over and out of. And then there was Eddie. And Charlie. And Dave. And now Malcolm. Oh yeah, I can see the pining etched into the bedposts along with all the notches." 

"And _how_ many women have you slept with in this interim, Pacey?" She scoffed. "Don't be such a fucking hypocrite. You've been laid with the best of 'em, so don't try and pretend that you've been sitting at home knitting sweaters for underprivileged children." 

"Two of those three relationships ended up fairly serious, you'll recall." 

"And I know there was a diamond ring in your pocket at one point, Pacey." Audrey crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him. "And don't try and lie to me about it." 

He ran his hand through his hair and looked away from her, taking a deep breath. "Joey hasn't been in love with me for a long time." 

"Then why were Jen and I assured that it would be better that we stay here yesterday while she went with you? And why did she stay long past when we left?" 

"Sex." He walked to the coffee pot and poured another cup, staring down into the dark depths. "She wanted to fuck me." 

"Understandable," Audrey said softly, giving him a half-smile. "You're pretty amazing in the sack." 

"Thanks," he chuckled sadly. "But complimenting my sexual prowess really isn't helping." 

"Sex isn't all she wants, Pacey." 

"She tell you that?" He turned to face her, cocking one eyebrow. "Hmm?" 

"No." 

"Then I'm going to stick with what happened last night as the most truthful course of events." He walked over and kissed her on the forehead. "Let's go wrap some presents." 

"I'll still sleep with you. You know, if it'll help." 

"You're still dating the football player, right?" 

"Right." 

"Yeah, I'll pass." 

***

"I did a bad thing." 

Jen sighed and opened the door wider, allowing Joey to walk into the apartment. "You slept with Pacey?" 

"No." 

"You almost slept with Pacey?" 

"Yes." 

"And really, are either of those bad things?" Jen sank down onto the couch and pulled her legs up, tucking them under her robe. "I mean, I can see where sleeping with him would be bad if you weren't ready for it or if it started out as just sex and ended up somewhere else or if one of you invested more into it than the other or took it as some sort of reason to get back together. I can see that being bad." 

"I didn't sleep with him." 

"So that's the bad thing? Because I could see how passing up the opportunity to sleep with Pacey when given it, especially given the level of skill he shows in all of the pornographic and sexual arts, could be bad. I could also see how not sleeping with him after making it very clear that you wanted him last night might now give him the impression that you don't want him and or a relationship with him, so he's upset and you've ruined something that had the potential to be very good. That could be a bad thing too." 

"Jen" 

"Of course, given Pacey's very fragile ego, I'd have to say that not sleeping with him is probably the bigger of the two bad things, so you're right. You did a bad thing." She nailed Joey with a speaking glance. "So, why didn't you sleep with Pacey?" 

"Well" 

"Because the mood was set. All Christmas-y and softly lit. Fireplace crackling and snapping and other breakfast cereal sounding things. Are you hungry?" Jen got off the couch and headed for the kitchen, grabbing a bowl out of one of the cupboards. "Matt went shopping. There's actually food." 

"I'm not hungry. Thanks." Joey sighed and sat down. "How is Matt?" 

"Fine. Mmmm." Jen smiled happily. "Fine." 

"I don't need to know any gory details." 

"Well I do." Jen picked up the cereal bowl and carried it into the living room, getting comfortable on the couch again. "And I think you need to spill 'em, so spill. 'Em." 

"There's nothing to spill really. We just kissed." 

"Kissed as in once? Plural? Tongues acting like scuba divers trying to find the secrets of the Titanic?" Jen watched Joey blush. "Okay, so these were real kisses." 

"Yeah." 

"Weak in the knees kisses." 

"Yes." 

"Stomach doing flip-flops kisses." 

"YES." Joey snapped. "Yes, they were really intense, very nice kisses that made me want to strip naked and ride him like a fucking bronco, okay?" She blushed a deeper red as her eyes fell on the open door behind Jen. "Hi, Matt." 

"Well, hey there, Joey." The tall, brunette walked over to Jen and dropped a kiss on her lips as she tilted her head back. Kneeling behind the couch, he draped his arms over Jen's shoulders and rested his head against hers, fighting the urge to smile. "And thank you for the pornographic image of you that I'll have in my head all day." 

"You're welcome." She shook her head, glaring at Jen's amused look. "Stop it." 

"Stop what?" 

"Laughing at me, for starters." 

"And what would you have me do, Jo?" Jen offered her bowl to Matt who took it and carried it into the kitchen. "You're the one who came over here to talk and yet you don't seem to want to talk about whatever it is that did or didn't happen with Pacey last night." 

"Pacey?" Matt groaned. "Jesus, does he score all the hot chicks in Boston?" 

"And the surrounding areas," Jen called out. "But he hasn't scored me in at least a week, honey, so hush. Joey's having a crisis." 

"Gotcha. Sorry, Jo." 

"No problem, Matt." She smiled thinly. "What do you want to know?" 

"What was the bad thing?" 

"We were kissingand well, more than that. Without going into any sordid detail, things were pretty hot and heavy" 

"With Pacey that can mean a lot of things," Jen reminded her. "Were there clothes scattered around the room?" 

"A few pieces were not on the person they came in with." 

"Was the condom in evidence?" 

"Perhaps." 

"And you said" 

"I told him I couldn't do it." 

"Why?" 

"Why did I tell him? Because otherwise we would have been having sex." 

"Why couldn't you do it?" 

"Oh." Joey dropped her head, not meeting Jen's gaze. "That." 

"Yes, that." 

"It's justits just sex." 

Jen laughed as Joey got to her feet, beginning to pace the room. She threw Jen an annoyed glance that the blonde ignored. "You and Pacey have _never_ been just sex. Even that two week period where you were fucking like rabbits behind Audrey's back wasn't just about sex." 

"I" 

"And don't bother denying it. And don't worry. Audrey doesn't know." Jen blew out a long sigh. "Joey, why'd you break things off with Malcolm?" 

"What does that have to do with this? That was three months ago." 

"Right about the time Joanna dumped Pacey hard, right?" 

"I was kind of involved in my own drama." She averted her eyes from Jen's. "I didn't notice." 

"Bullshit." Jen shook her head. "Look, if you want to deal with this whole thing, that's fine, and you know I'll help you. But I'm not going to listen to you lie to me. You broke up with Malcolm because he was getting too serious and you knew you weren't in love with him. And when Joanna left Pacey, you realized that this might be your last shot at him. Right?" 

"I" 

"Am I right?" 

"No." 

"You're lying to yourself, Joey, which is almost as bad as lying to me." Jen got off the couch and walked over to her friend, forcing her to stop moving by grabbing her arms and looking her straight in the eye. "If it's just sex, then why do you think you did a bad thing by not having it?" 

"I think I hurt him." 

"If it's just sex, why do you care?" 

"Because we're friends." 

"He was going to ask her to marry him, you know." 

"I know." Joey pulled out of Jen's grasp and moved back to the chair. "You don't think having sex with a guy who's just three months out of a near-engagement isn't stupid?" 

"No, I do. But I don't get why you think not having sex with him is the bad thing." Jen sat back down as well. "You're in love with him, Jo. You have been for a long time, you've just been so scared of it all going wrong again that you refuse to acknowledge it." 

"That's not true." 

"Dawson's always going to be there, so you don't care if that gets messed with. You can fuck that up as often as you like and he's not leaving because you guys are destined to be involved with each other's lives forever. But Paceyyou really, honestly love him, which is why you've spent the past few years trying to find another guy who's just like him but who isn't him so you can get past the guilt that the whole Pacey/Dawson dynamic gives you." 

"I need to go." 

"It's not going to go away, Joey. It hasn't yet and it's not going to ever. Just take the chance. Otherwise you'll miss it and you'll both end up miserable. Miserable and apart, as opposed to miserable and together, just for clarification." 

"Thanks, Jen." 

"Don't thank me unless you intend on taking my advice." She glanced over her shoulder at Matt who was sitting at the dining room table, pretending not to be paying attention to their conversation. "Now go away. I've got three hours left before Matt's got to fly home for Christmas, and I want to enjoy them." 

"I'm not enjoyable?" 

"Not unless you plan on joining us in the bedroom." Jen waved her fingers in Joey's direction. "Go." 

***

Pacey rubbed his hands together as he walked out of his apartment building, blowing into them to keep them warm. "I guess I know what to get you for Christmas, huh?" Joey smiled at him from where she sat on the hood of his car. "Don't you get gloves every year for Christmas?" 

"Yes." He eyed her warily, not moving closer. 

"And so what happens to them?" 

"Well, there's usually a span of a whole year between when I need them, allowing me ample time to completely forget their existence, much less where I last put them." 

"You think you'd learn." 

"You'd think I'd learn about a lot of things." Pacey shook his head, warding off the harsh tone. "Sorry. What's up?" 

"I was wondering if we could talk?" 

"It's Christmas eve day, Jo. I've got about thirty people coming over in five hours and I still have shopping to do." 

"Leaving all the gifts for the last minute?" She smirked slightly, her eyes full of mischief. "Then what exactly was Audrey over here wrapping the other day?" 

"Actually, I have food to buy. So, you can get in the car and come with me, or you can stay where you are and fall flat on your ass when I back out of my parking spot." He dangled the keys then headed for the door. "Your choice." 

Joey hopped off the car and moved around to the passenger's door. "Well, with that charming offer, how can I not go with you?" 

"Like I said, Potter, your choice." Pacey slid into the car then reached over and unlocked her door. 

Joey got in and snapped her seatbelt into place. "So you've completely given up on the chivalry thing now that you've tossed the white knight suit into storage?" 

Pacey started the car, his jaw line practically quivering with tension. "What do you mean?" 

"The Pacey of yore would always open a door for a lady." 

"That would imply that you're a lady, wouldn't it?" 

Joey was silent for a moment, watching the city roll by as Pacey drove. Finally she sighed softly. "I didn't come over today to fight." 

"Why did you come over today, Jo? Because I'm afraid cozy little tête-à-têtes don't seem to jibe with our last encounter, which, as I recall, went from you having my cock in your mouth to you running out the door in tears without a single word of explanation." 

"You know why I left" 

"No. Actually, Joey, I don't. I've got some ideas based on the fact that I've known you pretty much since you were in the embryonic stage, but I don't actually _know_. And unless you plan on serving up an explanation, I really think I should let you out at the next bus stop so you can go about your life and leave mine the fuck alone." He pulled over to the side of the road and put the car into park, his dark blue gaze trained on her face. 

"I just want to talk. Aboutabout the other night. About us." 

"I don't want to fight with you, Joey." 

"We won't. I'm sorry about the remark. I'm just a little defensive." 

"You're a little defensive every day of your life. This is a new level of defensiveness." 

"Maybe you bring it out in me." She offered him a small smile. "I'm sorry. Can we start today over?" 

"I don't have time for the whole day. What do you say we just call a temporary truce on our way to working toward a real one?" 

She nodded. "That'd be nice." 

***

"So, who all's coming tonight?" 

"Jen and Matt, Audrey and bo-hunk" 

"His name's Jeremy." 

"His name's Bruiser. And his mother's not the only one that calls him that." 

Joey laughed. "Awww. Is your masculinity threatened by him, Pace?" 

"My whole body is threatened by him. I'm worried he's not going to fit through the front door." 

"Well, parts of him fit into Audrey, so maybe we'll just invite those parts in, since we know they're small enough to fit in you apartment." 

"Audrey might take that the wrong way, you know." 

"Which is why I'll kill you if you ever mention it to her." She leaned into him, bumping his arm with hers. "Go on with the guest list." 

"Jack and his boy of the week, Andie and Karl, the German measle" 

"You're terrible. I'm scared to know how you might have described any of my dates in the past." 

"You should be." 

"Dawson and the latest Hollywood sex kitten." 

"Hollywood kicked his ass, Pace. Remember? He's settling for commercial level bimbos now." 

"I'll edit my social commentary then." 

She smiled. "Who else?" 

"Doug and his new girlfriend are supposed to drop in, but I told him he could only come if he promised not to hit on Jen again. Danny said he might stop by on his way down to Capeside. Other than that, it's just you and me, Potter. Having dumped or been dumped by our significant others, we're just our cute little selves, all alone on Christmas Eve." 

"We sound so pathetic." 

"Indeed, although I'm afraid I win the prize, since you were the dumper and not the dumpee." 

"Given that Malcolm found someone to replace me within mere seconds of our breakup, I don't think you should claim that trophy so quickly." She smirked. "I had no clue he was cheating on me. Although I suppose it's something I should be used to, since I seem to collect men who like to cheat on me." 

"In their defense, you're an awful lot of woman to handle." 

"You never cheated on me." 

"Well," Pacey winked, "I'm an awful lot o' man." 

"I suppose that is very true." Joey leaned against one of the aisles as Pacey turned his attention to the opposite shelves. "Can we talk about the other night?" 

"I don't want to talk about it, Jo." He glanced over his shoulder at her and gave her a sad look. "And it's not because I'm pissed or hurt or angry or anything that's going to spoil our tentative truce here. It's just because, if there's anything I've learned from this little fucked up group of ours, it's that talking doesn't actually _do_ anything. We say the words we're supposed to say and analyze and explain everything away, but we always end up right where we started. So I don't want to talk about it. I want to skip the same old bullshit where we rehash our past mistakes and talk about how we don't want to make new ones." 

"So where does that leave us?" 

"Friends. The same place we'd be after all that dissection. The same place we were before the mood got a little too romantic and we both got a little too lonely." Pacey looked away, surveying the shelf in front of him, then glanced back. "So, friends, okay?" 

Joey looked down at her hands as they gripped the handle of the shopping cart, willing them to unclench, to relax. This is what she wanted, she reminded herself, lifting her eyes to his and smiling. "Okay. Friends." 

"Great." He handed her a package from the shelf. "Now, let's head to the vegetables." 

***

"You think Doug and Yvette will get married?" Joey scrubbed the potatoes one by one, dropping them gently into the pan of warm water. "He's been seeing her for a while now, hasn't he?" 

"Almost a year. But I don't know how serious they are. I get the impression that it's more a casual thing they each use to stave off other interested parties." 

She shook her head, biting back a laugh. "Don't tell me you're still expounding on the Doug is gay theory?" 

"Nah. I don't think he's gay, I just honestly think he's not interested in getting married. Hell, he's getting close to 40 and showing no signs of wanting to tie himself down. I think Janelle is just a means to keep Mom and Dad off his back about finding a little woman." 

"Wouldn't having a woman who doesn't want to be the little woman make it worse? I mean, I would think your parents would double their efforts to make him start adding to the Witter brood." 

"Hell no. There's too many of us as it is." Pacey carefully basted the prime rib before sliding it easily into the oven. "Mom doesn't want any more grandkids, especially given how fucked up the current batch is. We Witters don't do so well in the offspring department." 

"Oh? And how do you know this, Pacey? Is there an illegitimate Witter or two running around?" 

"Oh yeah. Tamara and I popped 'em out by the bucketful back in the tenth grade." He tossed his towel at her, smirking when it hit her solidly on the ass. "You done with the potatoes?" 

"You think it'll be awkward tonight?" 

"What?" He grabbed the pan and carried it to the stove, studiously avoiding her searching glance. 

"You and me." 

"We're not awkward now, are we?" 

"Well, tonight we'll be the only two single people there." 

"Danny might be there," Pacey shrugged, carefully setting the pot on the back burner and adjusting the gas flame beneath it. "And I'm sure if you're lonely, he'll be more than happy to ease your pain." 

"I'd rather set fire to my fingernails and dance naked on bales of barbed wire." 

"Wow. Not that you have any feelings on the subject or anything." 

"Danny's a lech, Pacey. A cute, amusing lech, but a lech nonetheless. And trust me, I'd rather climb on Dawson's chair and give him a lap dance than give Danny any sort of encouragement." 

"Really? Man, I thought Danny'd win over Dawson." He shook his head. "I'm apparently not as clued into your taste in men as I'd thought." 

"I'm a woman of mystery." 

He looked at her, smiling slightly, his eyes dark. "That you are, Potter. That you are." 

***

Jen helped Joey onto the bed, moving away quickly as she moaned and turned onto her side. "She's going to throw up all over your comforter." 

"That's why she's in the guest room," Pacey reminded her, leaning against the wall farthest from the bed, his face flat with no emotion. "How much did she drink?" 

"She was watching Dawson and the girl of the week make out on your sofa. How much do you think?" Jen stopped, realizing what she'd said. "Not that I think she's got any investment in Dawson, you know, romantically." Jen sighed. "Shit, I'm saying this badly." 

"It's okay. Dawson's the last guy I worry about any more. Not that I'm worried. What Joey does or who Joey does for that matter is none of my concern." 

"You say that so convincingly." Jen smirked, her eyes dancing. 

"You know, Doug's still single, despite the fact that he's with Janelle tonight. Maybe I should tell him that you and Matt want him to join you for a threesome?" 

Jen shrugged. "Okay." 

"What?" Pacey stopped, his head tilted questioningly until Jen smiled. "You're a riot, Lindley." 

"As if you'd ever bring it up with Doug. I know full well that if I want to have sex with him, I'm going to have to pursue it all myself." She grinned at Pacey's obvious discomfort. "I am kidding, you know." 

"I'd believe you much more if I didn't know so much about your past and how you met Matt." 

"He was only _at_ the party, Pace. He wasn't a participant." 

"Mmm. I think you just got there and wowed him before he could dive in." 

"Besides, Doug doesn't swing that way, remember?" 

"I'm pretty sure with you asking, Doug would swing any way you wanted." Pacey laughed and moved toward the bed, carefully placing a blanket over Joey's oblivious form. His fingers lingered on her shoulder before he pulled them away, wrapping his arm around Jen and leading her from the room. "My brother has this thing where he picks a woman and just gets hung up on her for no logical reason." 

"Yeah, I see the family resemblance." She gave him a knowing look then glanced back at the bedroom door. "Maybe Matt and I should take her home." 

"She can stay here." 

"I don't know that that's such a good idea, Pace. I know about the other night" 

"She can stay here." Pacey whispered the words, glancing over Jen's shoulder to the crowd still gathered around the table. "And before you say anything, you don't have to worry. She and I talked and we worked out this truce." 

"Truce?" 

He ignored her sarcastic tone. "Yes, truce. The thing where we pretend what happened or didn't happen the other night never happened and so we can be friends. Only we decided this without the months of agonizing and annoying our friends with the whole 'did he? Did she?' bullshit and just skipped right to the chase." 

"Seems to me the chase was the part you left out." 

"Jen" 

"I just don't think it's smart. For either of you." 

"She's passed out, Jen. I'm not going to make someone else lug her home. You guys all have Christmas plans tonight and tomorrow, so the last thing any of you want to do is baby-sit a very drunk and eventually very hung over Joey Potter." 

"But" 

"I've got nothing else to do, Jen." He smiled ruefully. "Except dishes." He waved his hand in the direction of the hallway leading to the rooms. "She's sleeping. She's comfortable. There's no reason for us to disturb her. If she wakes up before you guys leave, fine, you guys can take her home, but if not, I say we just let her stay here." 

"I know you miss Joanna" 

"This isn't about her." His face stilled, tightened. "And it's not about Joey, either. I justmaybe neither of us wants to be alone of Christmas Eve." 

"She's passed out, Pacey." 

He shrugged, turning his head so she couldn't read his eyes. "At least she's here." 

***

Pacey sat in the chair beside the fire, watching the flames flicker through the amber liquid in his glass. The bottle on the table next to him was almost empty and he was pretty sure that it had been full when he started. He almost laughed as thoughts skittered through his mind. Jen had been so concerned that he was sad because of Joanna leaving him. She was right, he admitted that, but tonight's melancholy was very much thanks to the brunette sleeping it off in the other room. 

"Never loved him, Pace," she'd slurred. "Always you." 

He hadn't said anything in response, had backed out of the room when Jen came in to help out. But his brain had been busy wondering which him she'd never loved. There was a decent sized list, but only one mattered. Sighing, he closed his eyes and rubbed them, taking another hit from the glass. 

He forced himself to bring up a mental picture of Joanna, pictured the auburn hair that floated down to the middle of her back, spiraling in loose curls that seemed too perfect to be natural until he'd seen them first thing in the morning spread out over her pale, naked back. Her chocolate brown eyes that had eaten him alive that night in the bar and then devoured him further every time they saw each other again. Her lips, her curves, the subtle spicy smell of her perfume. Everything was still there, still perfectly etched in his brain. 

He'd loved her. He'd planned to ask her to marry him. 

Then everything had gone wrong. She told him she was in love with someone else. She told him she didn't want to be with a man who had another woman on his mind most of the time. And she'd been ruthless when she'd realized he didn't even know it. When she told him that every time he called her 'Jo' she knew that he wasn't talking to her. 

And he'd called her Jo a whole hell of a lot. 

Downing the rest of the glass, Pacey rested his head on the cushion and exhaled slowly before reaching for the bottle again. This time he didn't bother pouring, instead lifting the bottle to his lips as he glanced over at the tree, sparkling faintly in the dark room, slivers of the fire shooting across ornaments and giving them life. "Merry Christmas, Witter." 

"That's a step up from last year." Joey slumped onto the couch, her hair falling around her face. "I believe the sentiment then was 'Merry fucking Christmas'." 

"Yeah, well" He shrugged, glancing down at the bottle still in his hand. He shrugged again and drained the last remnants from it then held it toward Joey. "I'd offer you a drink, but I've drunk it all." 

"'Sokay. I'm drunk enough to last me quite a while." 

"Why aren't you still asleep?" 

"I wasn't asleep. I was unconscious. Not quite the same thing." She rubbed her forehead. "Besides, I got cold." 

"There are blankets." 

She nodded and slipped off the couch, pulling a blanket and pillow down with her as she stretched out in front of the fire. "Fire's hot." 

Pacey eyed her cautiously. "They usually are." He watched her, sensuous as a cat, unfurling before the crackling blaze. "I'm going to get another drink." 

She turned her head, sleepy eyes watching him as he rose from the chair, following him as he wove his way across the room to the mantle where he kept his bottles of alcohol. "What kind of night is it?" 

"Jack." 

"Did you ever wonder at the possibly misinterpretable signals inherent in that statement?" Joey closed her eyes, her lips curled in a secret smile. "I mean, you gotta wonder if the guy's a little paranoid." 

"Nah. Jack knows where I stand." 

"Oh?" She cocked an eyebrow and rose up on her elbow, her eyes hot on his skin. "And how did Jack come by that knowledge?" 

"We lived together for two years, Jo. We had a lot of drunken conversations." He filled his glass then turned to face her, swallowing hard at her appraising gaze. "Everyone else left." 

"I gathered that from the fact that we seem to be alone." 

He walked back to his seat slowly, pausing in front of it before sinking down onto the floor. He stretched his legs out, his black socks standing out darkly against her cream colored slacks. "Everyone seemed a little worried about you staying here." 

"Yeah?" Joey sat up and shrugged off the blanket, exposing a soft stretch of skin as her shirt slipped off one shoulder as well. "Why's that?" 

"I think they don't trust us around one another." He spoke the words softly just before he took a small sip of his drink, fighting to keep his eyes open as she wrapped her hand around his and guided it to her lips. The liquid burned warmly down her throat as Pacey drew his hand away, setting the glass on the table behind him. He brought his hand back down, watching as Joey shifted, moving closer. His hand hung in mid-air, waiting until her cheek was in distance before grazing over the soft skin. "Think we might do something stupid." 

"Stupid?" Joey licked her lips as her eyes closed. Her tongue slipped back inside her mouth, leaving her lips parted, her breath warm as he leaned into her. "What on earth could they mean?" 

"I've got no clue," Pacey admitted, his lips brushing hers lightly. "You and I are known to be paragons of common sense and discretion." 

"We are," Joey breathed. "Now shut up and kiss me." 

***

Heat lanced through Pacey as he watched Joey's face, her mouth. Her eyes were half closed, hunger feathering off her lashes as they fluttered against her cheeks. "No." 

"No?" They opened wide, golden fire flashing at him. "What do you mean, no?" 

"I mean no," Pacey pulled back, letting his fingers rake down her arm, the calloused pads of his fingers wreaking havoc on her nervous system. "I mean, if you want to kiss me, you can do it. You can come over here and make the first move." His words were thickly coated with liquor and desire. "If you want it badly enough." 

"So this is some sort of challenge?" One eyebrow shot up, arching on her smooth forehead. "You don't think I've got the balls to crawl over there and kiss you?" 

He chuckled at the image, shaking his head all the while. Whiskey burned in his blood, through his brain, playing a sweet counterpoint to the liquid heat pulsing through him as Joey smiled and turned, crawling toward him on her hands and knees. "You're drunk, Potter." 

She nodded as she straddled his legs, her hands lifting her shirt and tossing it over her head in one easy movement. "So are you." She met his gaze, her hair falling haphazardly around her face. "What's your point?" 

"My point," he whispered huskily, his hands gently kneading her breasts, his thumbs rubbing the hard nipples, "is that maybe we're not in the right frame of mind to be doing this." 

"I don't know, Pace," she captured his lower lip between her teeth and sucked it into her mouth, reluctantly releasing it when he pulled back. "I think this is the best frame of mind." 

"I don't know that I can handle another hit and run." He held her upper arms, keeping her from leaning in to him. "If we start this, Potter, you'd better be damn sure that you're going to be willing to finish it." 

Joey shook his grip loose and stood up, her bare breasts moving languidly as she stretched, muscles tautening. She brought her hands to her waistband and unbuttoned it, shifting from side to side seductively as she wriggled her pants down her legs. As they fell to her ankles, she slipped her thumbs beneath the elastic band of the lavender panties she wore. She held his gaze as she pushed them down, stepping out of both and kicking them away. 

Pacey forced his eyes to stay open as she took a step forward, the dark hair at the apex of her thighs tantalizingly close to his parted lips, the scent of her arousal crowding his senses. His hands clenched into fists on his thighs as he fought the urge to touch her, giving in as she shifted, her legs parting further. With a low, hungry groan, he slid his palms up the back of her thighs, curving around her ass and holding her as he pressed a hot kiss against the tangle of dark hair. 

Joey shivered above him, her hands clamping down on his shoulders for support as his fingers dug into the firm flesh of her ass, his open mouth nuzzling the creamy flesh of her upper thighs. His teeth nipped lightly at the silky skin as he leaned back further against the chair behind him, urging Joey forward. She moved, her knees resting on the edge of the cushion, her legs parted. Pacey inhaled the warm scent of her then exhaled slowly, blowing a stream of heated air against her skin. Joey gasped and grabbed the arms of the chair, crying out quietly as the tip of his tongue flickered across her clit. 

He closed his eyes, inhaling her, as his tongue danced lightly over the surface of her skin, barely touching her. The heat of her seemed centered around her clit as he traced a vague circle around it, never letting his touch stay against her for long. He could feel the tremors run through her as she moved, her hips rolling, pushing back against his hands, thrusting forward against his mouth. 

He heard the sharp rasp of fabric as her hands curled into the arms of the chair, the rough scratch of her nails against the material. Liquid painted his tongue, splattering like paint drops on the outstretched muscle, decorating him with the taste of her. He pulled his tongue back into his mouth and savored it then issued a quick stroke, an invasion of the soft flesh, pushing inside her. 

Joey cried out, her knees buckling slightly. She gripped the chair tightly, leaning back into his hands, letting him help support the weight of her body. Pacey groaned against her warm, wet flesh, his tongue relentless as it chased heat into her body, thrusting rapidly, filling her with quick hard strokes, capturing flesh and sucking on it gently, his tongue pausing to flay her clit with feathery, unfulfilling distractions. 

Her head fell forward and she stared at his dark hair tangling so closely to her own. Risking her tenuous balance, she reached down with one hand, combing her fingers through the rough curls that always threatened when his hair grew too long, tugging lightly at them, wincing with the pleasurable pain as she captured some of the fine hairs that grew between her thighs as well. 

Pacey's mewls of pleasure darted up her spine, his hunger manifesting itself as he gave up her clit, concentrating instead on pushing up inside of her, his own thick heat trapped inside her flesh. His fingers constricted against the skin of her ass, kneading it, animating his own need for her. Her nails scraped his scalp, her own breath falling from her lips in harsh pants she could barely recognize as her own. His breathing was caught between them, his senses filled with her and only her. Her knees gave way and she sank down on them onto the chair, her whole body trembling as he seemed to reach inside her and wrench her control from her, bringing her orgasm down on top of him. 

As Joey collapsed onto the chair, Pacey freed himself from between her thighs, managing somehow to make his way to his knees, his hands frantically fumbling with his jeans. Joey lay on the sleek surface, breathing deeply as he shoved them down his thighs, his silk boxers tangled with the denim. His own breathing fell out of control as he grabbed the chair, his arms brushing hers. Joey shivered violently and shifted, her legs parting instinctively, opening herself up to him. 

With a low moan, Pacey slid inside her, his cock hard and full as it penetrated her willing flesh. He kissed her back, working her way up her body until he tasted the back of her neck, the flavor of her softer, more subtle, but still alive on his tongue. He didn't speak as he rocked forward, sliding as deeply inside her as her position would allow. They lay there for a moment, simply feeling each other, until Joey shifted again, angling her hips off of the chair, allowing him to slide even deeper. 

Silence reigned, broken only by the soft sounds of their movement, whispered moans of pleasure that Joey buried in the cushion beneath her, hungry grunts and groans that Pacey pressed into her skin. Sweat, slick and salty, slid over their skin, moving with them as their steady pace suddenly grew frantic, sleek thrusts degenerating into hard and harsh strokes, thrusts echoed with hungered pangs of impact, the chair beneath them moving with the force of their collisions. 

"Pacey," Joey panted, her hips arching back to meet his. He shook his head, his nose and lips caressing her skin. He whispered no over and over, still moving, still pushing inside her. Joey gasped, closing her eyes, muttering a quiet protest as he stilled for a moment, every muscle in his body pressed against her, taut and tight, falling into relaxation in one rushed thrust, pushing his orgasm into her. 

Tears fell from Joey's lashes, darkening the fabric beneath her as he continued moving inside her, pleading with her softly, asking for her release. Her shoulders shook with emotion, her eyes closing more tightly, tears slipping through to her cheeks. She turned her head, feeling his lips steal the tears as they manifested. She opened her mouth in a soft sob, unable to stop its escape as he licked at the corners of her lips, snaking his tongue into her mouth as she came. 

***

Pacey woke slowly, the blanket scratchy against his bare chest. He turned his head and stared at the dead fire, the black, gray and white ash swirling together as the heat kicked on, the blast of air sending them dancing. Closing his eyes again, he rubbed his forehead with one hand, turning his head the opposite direction slowly. 

Her dark hair was swirled over his chest, her hand splayed against the short, dark hair on his abdomen that disappeared down under the blanket. His other hand was wrapped around her, his thumb stroking her shoulder rhythmically. He felt her come awake, her lashes fluttering against his skin, her hair shifting, tickling as she started to lift away from him. 

She tilted her head and her hair fell away from her face, her eyes dark as they met his. He offered her an impish smile. "Morning." 

"Is it? Already?" She rubbed her forehead, her headache visible in the rough furrow of her brow. The sunlight filtering through the room forced her eyes to narrow. "I guess so." 

He continued watching her, her reactions. "Merry Christmas." 

She blushed. "And here I am without anything to give you." 

"Oh, I don't know, Potter." He purred the words, the sound sending shivers of heat through her. He moved slowly, easing his arm from under her, moving his body over hers, looking down into her conflicted gaze. "I can think of a few things you have," he bent his head, taking her erect nipple into his mouth briefly, releasing it reluctantly, "that I want." 

Her whole body blushed and she shifted uncomfortably beneath him. Pacey closed his eyes briefly, the feel of her body against his causing his whole body to stiffen, the hardness of his erection to increase. When they opened they met hers and he gave her a slight smile before he moved off of her, carefully leaving the blanket over her as he got to his feet, pulling his jeans on in one swift and easy movement. 

"It's not" He held up a hand, stopping her as he moved into the kitchen, the scent of coffee wafting out toward her within minutes. She wrapped the blanket around her and got to her feet, moving over to the counter and leaning against it. He didn't look at her, though the slight tensing of his shoulders let her know he knew she was there. 

"Black, right?" 

"Yeah." 

He nodded, not waiting until the percolator was finished, sneaking the cup underneath the steady stream of coffee and letting it fill it before replacing it with the glass pot. He set the mug in front of her then stepped back, watching the liquid fill the chamber. As it sputtered to a stop, he lifted the pot and poured his own coffee, carefully lacing it with cream. Joey took a sip of hers, wincing then blowing on it. 

"Will you tell me something, Pacey?" 

He didn't look at her as he leaned on the counter, holding his cup between his hands, his arms hovering just over the smooth surface. "Whatever you want to know, Jo." 

"How did you feel when Malcolm and I split up?" 

"Honestly?" 

She refused to meet his eyes instead tracing the rim of her coffee mug. "I think we could use a little honesty, don't you?" 

"Last night was pretty honest." 

"Last night, as great as it was, was just fucking." She looked up then, catching his blue eyes and refusing to release them. "Yesterday, we made a truce, which we both know was a load of bullshit. You and I aren't friends, Pacey. Not anymore. We haven't been for a long time, if we're honest with ourselves. There's too much between us, too many feelings, too many unresolved issues and emotions." 

"And you need some resolution?" He looked as if he was considering it then nodded. "I was overjoyed," he admitted. "First of all, I thought the guy was an asshole. Of course, I tend to think that about pretty much anyone who's sleeping with you on a regular basis." 

"Present company excluded?" 

"Not really," he laughed. "A lot of the time I think I'm an asshole too." 

"Secondly, I had a suspicion that he was cheating on you and I wanted him out of your life so that he couldn't hurt you." 

"Why'd you suspect that?" 

"I happen to have pretty good working knowledge of what people look and act like when they're cheating." He shrugged, leaving the question hanging in the air between them. "Besides, any guy that has that many excuses as to why he's not sleeping with you on a regular basis when the opportunity is there automatically makes me think he's either asexual like Dawson, gay like Jack, or cheating." He stared at her, the expression in his eyes almost painful. "He was a cocky son of a bitch. He thought, since neither Dawson or I was ever able to hang on to you that he was somehow superior to us in some way, probably mistakenly thinking his dick was bigger." 

"Than Dawson's," she nodded. 

Pacey smirked, fighting his laugh. "And finally, I guess I just didn't think he deserved you." 

"I don't think that's the truth, Pace. And you said you were going to be honest with me." She said the words quietly; knowing the weight of them had the potential to drown them both. 

"You want me to tell you that I'm glad you dumped the asshole because it meant I could have you?" 

She stared at him a long time before nodding. "If it's the truth." 

"You ever wonder what it is about us that keeps us here? Hovering on the edge of each other, both of us afraid to say or do the wrong thing, determined to make sure that whatever happens, this tenuous friendship of ours remains intact?" 

"Last night was a mistake, Pacey." 

He didn't react outwardly except to close his eyes. When they opened, the blue was bright, his dark lashes framing the haunting color. "I have an affinity for making them." 

"When Joanna left you, I wasthe day before I broke it off with Malcolm; I'd just gotten home from New York. I'd been gone for about three weeks for that project I was working on." 

"I remember." 

"When I got home, the first thing I heard was Jen on my answering machine telling me that Joanna was gone for good." She sighed and looked down at her coffee, taking a surprised sip as she'd forgotten it was there in her hands. "I was supposed to call him when I got back into town; we were supposed to go out for an early dinner. Instead, I called him and told him my train was delayed and I wouldn't be home until late. Then I crawled into bed to go to sleep, catch up on the rest I'd missed in the rush of the deadline, clear my head a little." 

He didn't say anything, giving her the room to place her tentative speech in front of him, offer it to him like a time bomb or a gift. 

"I tossed and turned. Couldn't sleep." She set the mug to the side and reached out, capturing one of his hands. The blanket shifted on her, dangerously close to slipping free of the knot she'd fashioned and falling away from her. "I was driving myself crazy. Tossing and turning." She bit her lower lip nervously. "So I closed my eyes and tried to stop thinking, tried to slow my brain down for a second. And the next thing I know, I'm thinking about Jen's message and I'm thinking about you and the fact that you're free that you're not marrying her and the next thing I know I'm touching myself and I'm thinking about you, I'm imagining you slipping into my bedroom and touching me and tasting me, and my fingers are against my clit, teasing my nipple, sliding up inside me, only it's you behind my eyes, doing all of this to me." 

Pacey shuddered, the tremor running through him, his hand contracting around hers. 

"All I could think about was you; all I could see was you. And it scared me, because I thought that was all behind us and I thought I'd moved on and I thought you were out of my fucking system. But instead, I was coming all over my fingers, thinking about you fucking me." Pacey closed his eyes, his teeth sinking into his lower lip. Joey watched him for a long moment before freeing her hand from his. "I broke up with him that night. I told him that I wasn't in love with him. I told him I was in love with someone else. Of course, he chose to respond to that by telling me he was fucking two of the women I work with but" 

"Tell me." 

"What?" She looked at him then looked away from the intensity in his eyes. 

"Don't hedge around it, dammit." His lip was bleeding slightly from where his teeth had broken the skin. "I need to hear you say it, Jo. I need it more than I want to fucking admit." 

"I stopped the other night because I was scared as hell that I was just convenient. That, by being hurt, I'd triggered this latent white knight complex in you and I was afraidthat once it started it wouldn't stop and I was just scared." Her voice broke and she bent her neck, looking down at her nervous hands, unable to stay still on the countertop. "You were going to marry her, Pace." 

"I thought I didn't have a choice." 

"Why?" 

He shook his head. "No. I can't be the one this time, Jo. I can't give you that out. If itthisif I'm what you want, I need you to tell me." 

She smiled slightly, tears sparkling in her eyes. "I want you," she nodded. "I need you." 

He swallowed hard, waiting in what seemed an eternal uncomfortable silence. Heavy air gathered around them as she got to her feet, walking around the counter to stand in front of him. She reached out and touched his chest, feeling the shiver as it threaded through is body. With her other hand, she unfastened the knot that held the blanket against her. Standing on tiptoe, she pressed a warm, soft kiss to his lips. "I love you, Pace." 

He groaned and melted into her kiss, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her body flush against his. She giggled quietly, kissing him over and over again. Her laughter was infectious and he grinned, pulling back to stare down at her. 

"What?" 

"I'm just thinking that the journal I got you for Christmas suddenly seems horribly inadequate as far as gifts go." 

"How do you think I feel? I got you a sweater." 

He brushed her cheek, caressing it gently. "Merry Christmas, Joey." 

She nodded, kissing him again. "Merry Christmas, Pace."


End file.
